what joy! four people looked at my blog the day i posted! i'm so touched. so, as promised, i'll post a new entry for the next three days.
the first is an update on the past few months, which have been filled with a lot of internal indecision and bit of angst. but let's do the external stuff first.
tony and i decided this winter to look for a new apartment, and after a month of searching, we've finally found one here. it's pretty deluxe, with a lot of amenities that we haven't had in a long time (or ever)... dishwasher, in-unit laundry, underground parking (no snow!), heated indoor pool (year round, which is amazing for the state with the shortest pool season ever), and, finally, a huge kitchen. whoohoo! but the best part... i can get another dog (up to 35 pounds). i can't wait. i'll admit that i've already started checking out the petfinder.com, even though it will be a few more months yet.
work, as always, has been fairly crazy. it always amazes me how i can be so busy and so bored at the same time. it makes my indecision about school and my future that much worse.
i guess now that i've mentioned it, i should talk about my future plans--or lack of plans. many of you know that i've been thinking about going to grad school for a few years now, probably to study coastal geomorphology/coastal managment. but i haven't applied. it will be two years this fall since i took the GRE. i don't know why i can't find the motivation to go back... maybe i'm not ready for another stint at school. maybe i'm afraid that after another bunch years of time and a pile of money, i'll still won't be happy with where i end up. maybe i still don't know what will make me happy.
for a long time, i've believed that since i didn't intend on having children (at least none of my own), my job would be the thing that would feed and sustain me. it would be something meaningful, interesting, productive, fulfilling. but i haven't found that yet. now i wonder if it's possible for me. maybe my joy and my purpose will come from something other than my job.
the other thing that i've been searching for is home. a place that i love. a city that keeps me interested and intrigued, but that is comforting and familiar. i loved st. louis, and i wish that it was on a coast, because it would be perfect. so part of me thinks that i should just move to a city that i want to live in, and see what happens.
so what do you think, dear readers? do you have any thoughts on what might make me happy? can you offer any advice on how i might make this decision? are there any alternate paths or explorations that i haven't thought of?