Tuesday, February 13, 2007

a hand-scrawled dedication

as i enter the world of blogging, i realize that i am not a writer. the same thought that kept me away from painting or sculpture in art school now haunts me again: who will want to see what i have to say?

but i'm reminded of the reason that inspired me to begin this blog: those who love me will want to know.

which leads me to dedicate this blog to a long-lost friend, erin. while she doesn't know it, i've been reading her blog ever since i left D.C., and it's allowed me to be a part of her life from very far away. what i didn't realize until recently is that it's been a one-sided relationship. i've smiled and laughed and been touched by her words, i've fed our friendship in my head and heart, but i've never given her anything of myself. i don't think that i've called or emailed her in the past few years, yet i feel like i still know her. but she no longer knows me.

and here i make a confession. i'm horrible with keeping up with people, which is tragic since most of my favourite people live far away from me. every january, i make a resolution to call one of these friends every weekend, and around february it changes to one every month, and i end up never calling anyone. such a disappointment. and i've realized that blogs are making it easier for me to keep silent; i can read about my friends' lives (because that's the really interesting part) without having to talk about myself. what could be better?

so, in an effort to share my life with those i love and miss, i'm going to try to blog. i'll apologize in advance for boring posts, for all my spelling errors, for the initially ugly design (the graphic designer in me is cringing right now), and of course, for the completely self-centric posts. but that IS the point, right? my thoughts, my struggles, my life.

finally, dearest erin, please know that all this time you've had another friend out here in the ether, supporting you during your struggles, cheering your successes and smiling at all the other randomness you've been posting. i'm sorry that i've been absent from your life even though you were a daily part of mine. maybe you'll let me be a part of yours again.

maybe you all will.

2 comments:

Erin said...

Oh sweetie, you have made me cry!! I'm so glad to know that you're starting a blog so that I can still be a part of your life, too. You're incredible!! (And, so are the flowers, which just arrived!! We love them!!)

eben said...

so this b-log thingie, it's like a "web" newspaper, or is it more of a journal? that's it! my church group talks about them, but i've never been to a b-log. it's a little bit ugly of a word, but it rolls off the tongue nicely. anyway, i am very excited to have come across your b-log jennifer, and wish you the best with it. i will check back often to see your walk down the road of life.